Have you ever doubted yourself? I mean, really doubted yourself? Have you ever questioned your ability to accomplish something? I did last semester! After my comps experience I began to question my ability to do ministry. I wondered if I was good enough or smart enough to be the kind of minister that I desire to be. It was even harder to realize that I would never be good enough or smart enough or have enough faith to be the kind of minister that I wish to be. The fact that I had made a decision to be committed to ministry was all that kept me coming back and giving it the best I had.
The greatest lesson I learned from all of this is that if I were good enough or smart enough or had faith enough, then I would be of little use to God. He tends to enjoy using very imperfect people to accomplish His great will. I realized that I was not just committed to ministry, but that I was in a covenant with God for ministry. This means that I have been called and God will lead. Up to this point in my ministry, much of it has been based on my ability. Now I know that God truly works when my ability fails.
Now my perspective has changed a bit. All that God wants from me is to stay committed to the covenant. I hope that you will join me in staying committed and finding where God can use imperfect people best!
The Family Connection, Summer 2004 Home